That damn footfall noise is the worst. When I lived in Manhattan, I experienced THE worst footfall noise from the apartment above, heels mandatory obviously, every night at around 3 or 4 am. I’d be seething mad under the covers, fists and buttocks clenched, while my wife slept peacefully beside me.

Did I slip an angry note under the person’s door? Yes. Was said person an employee of Howard Stern’s radio show, I would later discover? Yes. Did I shave 20 years off my life from the experience? Probably.

Oh, and of course I wrote into Howard’s show (via email), declaring myself a fan and politely asking if his employee would keep the damn noise down, please.