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BEDRIDDEN LIFE
Ramblings on this (US) Memorial Day Monday
Or Tweets, let’s be honest
I remember the days of watching Three’s Company on TV, hanging out at the mall with my loser friends, and eating fruit roll-ups. Nowadays, it’s streaming 4,583 shows on 1,600 different platforms, hanging out online, and eating processed foods that contain toxic chemicals.
My kids are officially German citizens now (still American citizens too) with the culmination of their recent passports. If I aggravate my wife, she can move to Germany with our kids and legally stay there on a whim. Like if I accidentally leave the toilet seat up or eat the last banana.
When I was a kid in Little League baseball, these two other kids on my team would say, “What’s the capital of Thailand?” and before you could respond, they would shout out, “Bangkok!” and then hit you in the junk. These were not sane and rational people.
“I don’t know about you, but — “
“Of course you don’t. We just met. But I can tell you a little bit about me.”
“No, I mean — “
“I don’t think you’re mean at all. You seem fine.”
“Forget — “
“I haven’t forgotten anything. I have a really good memory.”