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BEDRIDDEN LIFE
Just a Few More Things
Or Tweets, let’s be honest
I’ve noticed that Facebook has become like one long advertisement. Instead of seeing what my Facebook friends are up to, I get to see on my Facebook feed that Jason Priestly and his family moved to Nashville, Dua Lipa is still regularly wearing outfits that show her derrière, Alec Baldwin’s $30 millon house in the Hamptons still hasn’t sold and remains on the market, and Britney Spears said on an Instagram rant that she’s moving to Boston.
Minding my own business in the kitchen at 6 am the other morning getting some food and I’m suddenly surprised by my wife, who is standing there looking at me. “You just woke me up!” she says. “Why did you scream what the f*#k?!”
I say I didn’t, and that I didn’t say anything. Turns out, it was a dream she had. As you might imagine, I can’t win around here.
Tiger Woods once said to fellow golfer John Daly, once described as a circus act for his vices of drinking, smoking, and Diet Cokes, “If I had your talent, I’d be doing the same thing you’re doing,” referring to Daly drinking beer in the clubhouse while Woods was going off to practice. Imagine possibly the greatest golfer of all time basically telling you you’re a natural and that he has to work harder at it.
