I think we’re very similar. And I’m telling you, it’s an INFJ thing. I did the same to a good friend when I was in a problematic relationship, when I was unemployed and looking for work—whatever issues I was having in life, I dumped on him. I probably did this for a good two years. Finally, he said to me one day, “You know, Dave. Life isn’t all about you.”

I was so consumed with trying to figure out my own problems that I failed to recognize he was another human who wanted to be heard, too. Thinking back, during some tough times earlier on in life, I might have done this to several of my friends.

Now that I’m more self-aware and evolved due to age and introspection, I don’t act like as much of a headcase anymore. But I’m telling you, it’s our personality type.

Regarding your friend, I’m sure she liked you. It’s just that you seemingly drove her nuts about your problems and she never felt heard. I would bet there were qualities about you she was attracted to in the first place that made her want to stay friends.

But then when you keep pursuing someone like that who maybe either wants space or doesn’t feel like being your friend at the moment, shit just snowballs and then you’re viewed as an obsessive stalker who is harassing her. Natural human tendency is to want to run away fast from that behavior. I’ve been there many times. I have an obsessive personality. I was a certified lunatic chasing people at times during my life.

Sorry for the long essay.

Do check out Lauren Sapala.com under “blog” if you have a chance. She’s done a wonderful bunch of YouTube videos on INFJ tendencies. They blew my mind. Very insightful.