Having a mother like that is like dealing with a child. I should know because my mother was like that most of my life, too. How she was able to change in the last 6 years, however, and why our relationship is better than ever now, I have no idea.

I had thought about estrangement many times. My sister was estranged from my family, in fact, for almost 20 years, largely due to my mother, but she has since reconnected and my family dynamic is now the most normal it’s ever been. I don’t know what the heck happened. I think possibly we all learned to have clear boundaries with one other and are more respectful and we avoid discussing sensitive topics, etc.

My mother used to have so much control over me, but now I set the tone, and besides, she’s so much better than she was (like I mentioned). Of course, cutting ties isn’t always the best solution either because we have that innate bond with our parents that is so important, although I do understand why some folks do it and in fact feel like they absolutely need to do it.

I think realizing that some people, even our own parents, can be seriously flawed and despite that, learning how to deal with them, or only dealing with them in small doses, is key.

I do hope things get better between you and your mother. I realize the cultural aspect you describe, too. I guess human relationships can be quite complicated and we do the best we can.